To A Hurting Friend

Do you remember the times we went running along the Esplanade over the summer? This was the summer of 2012 and the brick high-rise was unbearably hot. In the shade of the trees lining the Boston side of the Charles, there was usually a breeze and it was refreshingly cool. Do you remember the conversations we had then - about life, about dealing with hard things, about faith? I wish I could be back in Boston running along the Esplanade now, talking to you about these things once more for what I told you then still holds so true today.

You told me recently that you feel so lost, unsure of who you are in light of recent events. You said you feel so empty. How you used to love and hope but now it all just feels so pointless. How, you asked, are you supposed to deal with all the hurt that you're feeling? Can you remember what I shared with you two years ago about faith and how it helps me to get through the tough times? I told you then that if we build our identity on our accomplishments, on our relationships with others, even on who we perceive ourselves to be - we will be hopelessly lost. There is no constancy within ourselves - even if that were something that we were striving towards. Take a step back and think about it. As a society we focus so much on bettering ourselves in one way or another because we perceive that there's something still missing about us - we see that none of us is perfect. That's why I think it's so important to find meaning in life outside of ourselves.

You told me before that you acknowledge the fact that Christ died for your sins. But could I ask you to take a deeper look at what that really means for you, personally? If He is our savior- and I believe that He is - what difference does that make for our lives? Let the weight of His love overwhelm you. Think about it - God the Father was willing to send His only Son to this world, broken and full of hurting people, to die and take the punishment for our sins Himself so that we might have a relationship with Him. We were designed to have a relationship with Him and each of us decided to rebel and try to do things our own way. Without Him then, we will always feel empty and that vacancy in our hearts can never be quite filled with anything this world has to offer. Because He is perfect and nothing in this world is. If we look for security in any relationship apart from one with God, we will be let down each time. No matter how much both parties love each other, no matter how much each cares for the other, we can never perfectly exemplify true love. There are many beautiful glimpses that we get of love on this earth because we were made in God's image. But to experience perfect love, we need to go back to the One who is perfect. His love is unfailing, unconditional, and perfectly strong. We have a savior who is not only able to save us but to understand us. He knows the pain of betrayal - because He was himself betrayed by those closest to Him. He knows how hard it is to get through life. And yet He loved us even when He knew the cruelty of the human heart. He loves so much more deeply that we can dare to love those around us. So it is when we have complete security in Christ that we can open up our hearts to love others around us. It is when we have the reassurance that we are held in His hands that we can be vulnerable enough to feel again. Everything in this world is not out to hurt you, but it can be hard to open up again once you have been hurt. Yet imagine the loneliness of a life lived by yourself within a thin protective shell that you build up to prevent yourself from getting hurt.

I've told you this before. I really am convinced that those who feel more deeply not only have the capacity to enjoy life more but also to get hurt more. So I'm praying that you will run to Jesus and find meaning for your life in Him. That you would be able to find your identity in who you are in Christ - not based on what you have done but on what He has done for you. That you would trust Him completely and allow Him to fill the emptiness that you've found in yourself. That you would let His love and grace heal your broken heart. That you would learn and take to heart the Biblical meaning of hope - not a "fingers crossed" type of hope - but a steady anticipation of things yet to come knowing that the victory has already been won. Placing your life in God's hands, knowing that He is far greater than we ever will be, stronger than we could imagine but more gentle with us than we could ever be. That by finding your purpose and security in Christ, you would be freed to love others and to feel deeply once again, enjoying life the way you were made to live.