Sometimes...

Sometimes, we don't know how we're going to get through things. Sometimes, we just can't imagine why things happen the way they do. And sometimes, we're taken by surprise at the way God works.

It's about that time of the year. Seniors are finding out where they're going to spend the next four years of their lives. They're wrapping up high school. And sometimes, many times I should say, the college acceptance process doesn't work out the way that they had expected or hoped. To those of you in the waiting room, let me just say, it's tough to hear a no. It's exciting to hear a yes. But it's perhaps the hardest to hear a maybe. And for many of us, that uncertainty is most certainly the scariest part of facing life. I'm trying to deal with it right now too, so I understand how frustrating and how scary things can be. Let me just say to you as I repeatedly try to remind myself - throughout it all, God has a plan and a purpose. Things may be so discouraging and the future may look bleak, but it's not permanent. What is permanent is a life spent without Christ, and an eternity of separation from Him. So, stand firm, hold your ground, and keep the faith. Tomorrow will come, and the day after, and the next. You can't live those days right now. Do live the moments you have now. They don't come back.

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I'll be back for reals in May, but until then, I most likely won't be posting too often...

Encouragement

Today was a really pleasant day. For starters, I didn't go to work because I took the day off. Slept in til 9 AM. Seriously, awesome stuff, sleep. I was home with my mom, and got a lot of hugs from her. Something that I really like but that many people don't know (or think I dislike...) is hugs. Thanks, Mom for the hugs and the encouragement. :)

As I grow older, I'm learning and relearning the importance of living to the best of our abilities. I'm also learning how being positive can be really encouraging to the people around us. Sometimes, the "best of our abilities" can mean more than just our performance at school or at work. It sometimes means just living as a person to be the best that we can be. Loving others, living well with others, even living for others.

The message at church a few Sundays ago focused on how we ought to live our lives. And it really stuck. As Christians, we should try to follow Christ's example. Instead of living with a self-centered, "your life for mine" mentality, we ought to live with a "my life for yours" attitude. That's what Jesus showed us with His love. Living for Him isn't easy - no one ever said it would be. But we have a promise. And He will be faithful to His promise - to see us through until the end. So, until the day He comes, let's live for Him. One day at a time. My life for yours. 

One Big Blur

Time goes by fast. Every time I turn around, it's already been another week. Just a little bit of what I've been up to- more of the same, I guess. Still getting up, going to work, talking to friends, going to bed, repeating. Yes, I am also getting way better at coming up with efficient loops to describe things. Probably because I write a whole bunch at work. Today, I actually wrote a little sub to try and automate a process. That's definitely something I wouldn't have bothered doing a few months ago. (One additional motivating factor is the sheer quantity of the data. It would take HOURS to go through hundreds of rows of data, not to mention the potential for errors. We humans are built, it seems, to be creative and to find ways to use tools, but not so much to repeat motions without mistakes.)

Other random things. How long it's been since I just really laughed very hard. I realized this today. I smile, and I laugh, but usually not because things are tremendously funny. I'm supposed to be serious at work. Professionalism. It comes with its own good dose of pleasantries- smiling, small talk, remembering people's names... but it doesn't really allow for much hilarity to ensue. Probably not a bad thing at work. I wouldn't get any work done at all! That, however, is definitely something I miss. Hanging out with other people my age, letting loose and playing tag in the hallways. Yeah, tag is still cool at 21. Playing hockey, tag on the ice, going for runs along the Charles. College, in retrospect, involved a lot of running. Oh, and lots of cold, fresh air.

Running. Definitely something I miss here. I try to run in my neighborhood, but it's definitely not the same. After just a little while, I get very much out of breath and just can't seem to get a full breath of air. My lungs start making wheezing sounds. Not the best thing. And pretty much as soon as I stop running, I catch my breath again, so it's definitely not that I can't handing the running itself. Allergies are starting up again, though. I went outside for a couple of minutes at work on Monday and... felt pretty awful the rest of the day. Ended up going to bed around 9 that night. Yay sleep!

Things big on my mind this week. I don't understand what part of me is not being able to just let go and trust God. Sometimes, I think it's my head, and other times, I'm convinced it's my heart. Either way, I just want to believe that He is in control for the future, but my rational side gets all out of whack and starts going over stats and reminding me of the odds I'm facing. Then my irrational side takes over and starts playing this record that says it's all too hard. So between trying to figure out where everything is coming from and trying to convince myself that trusting God is the best thing to do, I'm pretty plumb tuckered out. Seriously, with His goodness right in front of my nose every day at work, how hard can it be to trust Him with something a couple of months down the road and no harder for Him to control than my current situation? I'm surprised and somewhat saddened by just how hard I find it to trust the One who really can do anything and actually cares about the details in my life.