Pack Rat Syndrome

So I thought about how well I could describe my life by calling it that of a pack rat. No, I'm not talking about material possessions here. What I'm talking about is the whole thing that is the rat race that we find ourselves running in quite so often. If I look back over the past few years (make that more than just the past few years) I find that I've always been running in pursuit of some goal. One goal replaced another, and then that got replaced, and so on until I've found myself here today. There has always been something that meant that I had to hold off on "enjoying life." I get that life isn't all about being comfortable, but at what point do you say enough is enough? Y'all know how much I hate worrying and stressing. At the same time, how often would you say I look stressed? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of balance to life? Right now, the thing that I'm putting off is sleep. Because, I tell myself, there's lot of things to get done! Well. There will always be work. Or at least, that's how I feel. Don't get me wrong. I like being busy, I like being challenged, and I think I will always be looking for ways to push myself. But as I reach some major crossroads as a part of growing up, I'm trying to figure out when, where, and how I will look for that balance that is all so necessary to living a sane life. Personally, I don't think I would mind working A LOT of hours if I loved the work. But, what happens to family life if you're so busy at work? Something, somewhere, has to give. We can't have it all. It's hard to try and make choices now that will so profoundly impact life years down the road. And it's even harder to try and make those choices without having all the details necessary for making a fully informed decision. Why should I worry about having a family life when there isn't any guarantee I'll get married in the first place? Well, because I think it very well impacts my goals for the next few years and maybe even my career. So, yes. Pack rat syndrome. I think I've had it for quite a few years now, and I don't think it's getting any better as I get older. Anyone want to join me in finding a "cure" for that?

Ramblings of a tired brain on a Friday night

Sometimes I wish I had a random title generator. I think coming up with a succinct title is sometimes one of the hardest parts of writing posts. it's easy enough to know what I want to write about, but to condense it all down into a few words? Now, that's hard. I need a condenser for my brain these days. Each day passes by and blurs into the next. Not in a bad sort of way, but more of in a fast, I'm happy, the days are flying by wayyy too quickly sort of way. I'm sitting at the desk in my room. My stuffed animals look as though they are smiling from their position on my dresser. Outside, the rain pours down and thunder reverberates throughout the neighborhood. But inside, my room is cozy, it's Friday night, and I'm happy to just sit here and ramble. Therapeutic. That's what it is.

I spend a lot of time wondering how my friends are doing these days, but timing is just never good. It's either in the middle of the day when everyone is busy or it's right before I fall asleep. Not the best time for communicating. Haha. So, please, do call. Or text. Or message on gchat. I'd love to talk and catch up.

I think I've come up with a not-so-concise title for tonight. I promise one of these days I'm going to find myself absolutely unable to come up with a title and either leave it blank (bad idea) or put in something like "Unknown Title." It's just inevitable. That is, unless life changes drastically and doesn't continue to repeat itself one week at a time. ;)

It's May Already

The past few months were long, hard months. Lots of work, not enough time, and unfortunately, not enough sleep. But, God is good and I got through them. I'm facing a few more months of lots of work and high stress. Something that I think I'm just going to have to learn is how to deal with "lots of work" and stress and not let it keep my entire life on hold. Ideally, I'd be super organized, highly efficient, and able to get everything and anything done with very little stress. But, realistically speaking, I know that's not the way I work. I like flexibility, spontaneity, and unless I have a really pressing deadline (think on the scale of a few hours here), I will probably always "have" time to listen to people and talk to them about how things are going in their lives. I like that. I want people to know that my door is always open (figuratively speaking) and that if they're having a rough day they can just come and vent. I don't think I ever really want that to change. So, will my schedule ever become less packed? I used to tell myself, just get through this semester and then things will be easier. Needless to say, each month that goes by seems to be busier than the last and once I started running, I never really stopped. Work, however, isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing that God gave to us. I'm not sure I'll ever slow down if I can help it, but I think it might be a good idea to learn how to breathe. And soon at that.